oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
