Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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