I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
