I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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