We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
