Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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