How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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