Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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