Your tits are I can't wait for
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
