Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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