My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
