I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Randomize