Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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