She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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