After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
