I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
