can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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