fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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