Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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