What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
