you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I FOUND THE LEGS
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
