lets start a swedish sibling band together
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
