wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
