Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
