I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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