I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
two words: eviction party
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
