Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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