ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize