you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
