He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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