I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
