It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
