Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He had one of those small greek statue penises
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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