Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
