All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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