I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize