My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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