She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
