What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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