I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
