Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Randomize
