From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You may now shotgun with the bride
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
