i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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