Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
