Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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