But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
