am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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