I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
