all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
