I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
