I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
