You made me cry and you don't even care
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
