i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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