Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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