my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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