yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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