whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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